Thursday, March 22, 2012, 1:00 AM
Sam's.writing.smut.
Seriously, I don't write smut, so...this is the best I can do. >.< It's embarrassing for me to even put it up.
I really don't know what song to put with this post....
“I guess I should get going,” I tell him. I hope the rain had already lightened because I hate walking in the rain-even if it was just a short walk to my car. I forgot to bring an umbrella and Taecyeon fails to have one in his life.
“Yea, probably,” Taecyeon answers. He stands up with me, and walks me to the door. He hands me my keys, which I had forgotten all about. He smiles and opens the door. Cold air makes their way in, and the rain scatters in, following the wind. Taecyeon looks out to the gloomy weather. “Maybe you should wait till the rain stops,” he suggests.
I poke my head out after him, and frown at the result. It would be impossible to drive in this condition. The winds were too strong, the rain falls too heavy. “Aish, really…” I mumble under my breath but it doesn’t go unnoticed by Taecyeon. I step back in, trying my best not to step on the wet floor. Taecyeon does so as well, and closes the door shut.
“What to do until the rain stops,” I mumble to myself, again. I slip back into the warm white slippers I had just slipped out of, minutes ago. “We can go over the finalizing details,” I tell him, turning around. Taecyeon was inches away from me, and I back away giving him room. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he replies. He walks past me and towards the kitchen. “I’m tired of finalizing it. It’s perfect already.” And he was right. I was so satisfied with the remodeling project; I couldn’t wait until the opening ceremony. There was nothing else left for me to add, everything is going to be perfect. Everything is perfect. I watch as he turns his back on me, walking into the kitchen. I hear the sound of glass tingling against each other. Taecyeon returns from the kitchen with a bottle of wine, and two wine glasses. “Want to see something?”
“Like?” I ask, because I wasn’t sure. I’m a little bit like Hyo Jin. I can’t handle my liquor well, sometimes.
“Come,” Taecyeon replies. He heads towards the stairs, leading up to the second floor. When he noticed I wasn’t following, he turns around and flashes his pearly whites at me. “Come on, I won’t bite. Promise.”
I roll my eyes at him, but follow anyways. I was stuck here either ways. I might as well enjoy myself. And perhaps, a little wine couldn't hurt. I’ll take it as a small congratulatory celebration.
It was my second or third time on the second floor of his house. I refrained from coming up here, well, because it was his personal space. I don’t know what he does in his bedroom or with whom he does it with and I’d rather not know. And on top of that, he keeps it really clean, cleaner than I keep my room.
Taecyeon opens the second door, the door after his bedroom, motions for me to go in. I raise a brow at him, but he just laughs it off. I enter the room, and find it empty. A big window, looking out to the backyard, and the fields of grasses, and a small thin blanket on the carpet ground were the only things that occupied the room.
Taecyeon walks past me and sits down on the blanket, his back facing the window. “I come in here, whenever I can’t sleep, and I just stare out the window.” Not like he needs to tell me. Taecyeon pats the spot next to him, and I walk over, sitting a couple of inches away from him, facing the window. I place my keys and my purse next to my right side. “Here, congratulations.” He hands me one of the wine glasses, and I took it. Taecyeon pours some wine in-red wine.
“Thanks,” I reply with a smile. I took a small sip, letting the wine washes its way down my throat. It felt relaxing.
A moment of silence passes.
“Do you love him?”
My eyes stare at the window still. Do I love Jaebum? That was a hard one. To say I didn’t love him, that wasn’t quite right. Yet, to say I was in love with him felt a little over stated. It was a little in between, where it felt like things would be better had Jaebum been here, yet part of me was thankful he left me.
“No, to say I love him would be an overstatement,” I reply, the glass of red wine twirls in my hand, naturally. Taecyeon lays back, his arms settling behind his head for comfort. He closes his eyes, and waits for my answer. I turn to lie next to him, my stomach against the soft blanket. The pitter patter of the rain hitting the window sounded calming, and it reminded me of the days I spent at home with my family. I look down at him, and couldn’t help but stare. My eyes carve out the shapes of his face. “I do not love him, no.”
“Then what is it?” Taecyeon asks. I hear the lingering in his voice, mixing with the sound of the rain.
“What is what?” I shift my eyes out to the calming rain. It was inviting, asking me to dance with it. But I hated the cold. I took in the rest of the wine, swallowing it in one gulp, and then grabbing the wine bottle besides Taecyeon for more.
“Why are you still waiting for him?”
“I…” I start to reply, but I can’t find an answer. Because Jaebum said he would come back. Because I need some closure, because I need to know why he left, how he felt when he left me behind. Another sip. “Because I really, really like him.” And there goes my second glass.
“Is that so?”
I nod my head but he can’t see. “It’s like asking the rain why it’s raining,” I reply. I pour another glass, and I’m glad Taecyeon can’t see me like this. I’m sure he hears the trickling of the wine, and the clinking of the glass hitting the bottle, but he doesn’t say anything about it. “I’m helpless; all I can do is wait.” I smile, at nothing, really. I set the bottle of wine down, and turn towards Taecyeon, and I couldn’t help but stare at him, again. I set my head against the hard ground, staring, watching as he turns his head facing me, his eyes still closed. “Just…I just really want to know why he left me.”
Taecyeon opens his eyes and catches me staring, but I do not bother to look away. His lips parted, as if to say something but nothing comes out.
Then I did it. I kiss him. The glass of red wine falls from my hand, but I didn’t care. I kiss him, and he kisses me back. His lips part and I taste the mixture of the red wine and a soft tingling mint. I felt excitement churn in my stomach, felt my heart yearning as I wrap my arms around him, running my fingers through his hair. It wasn’t until Ok Taecyeon wraps his hands around me, pulling me closer that I realized what I did-what I was doing.
I pull away, gasping for my breath. He stares at me, startled and confused; and I look away from his face-from that look. I quickly got up.
“I got to go,” I quickly said. I grab my keys and my purse.
“Yun Hee-” Taecyeon calls out to me, but I run out the door before he even gets up.
What have I done? What am I doing? I rush down the flight of stairs, and towards the door. My feet quickly kick off the slippers, and I jam my toes into the pair of black heels. Without knowing, my eyes start to blur. I was crying for unknown reasons.
I hear his footsteps against the stairs as I reach for the door. I open it and ran out, without even bothering to close the door. The rain pelts against my skin, but it had never felt so refreshing before. It is as if it’s washing away my sins-this filth.
“Yun Hee wait!” Taecyeon calls out. But I do not wait; I hurry, as quickly as my heels can carry me. “You kissed me!” He shouts as he runs after me, trying to justify his actions. And he was right.
“I-I was drinking! I had too-too much alcohol,” I shout back through the harsh rain that my tears were now mixing with. “I’m so drunk-I had no idea.”
It was a pathetic excuse, but it was the only one I had. The rain soaks through my black blouse, cold as ice; but I do not feel the coldness.
“We both know you’re not drunk!!”
He was right behind me. I can feel him.
Sure enough, he wraps his hand around my wrist and pulls me back. His arms were strong, much like Jaebum’s. I faced him, scared. Scared to see how this would end or scared of what he was saying was true, I wasn’t sure anymore. All I knew was I didn’t want to be around Taecyeon anymore. He made me so vulnerable. I didn’t even know what to think around him. I don’t know how he feels, what runs through his mind, and what he wants. I knew nothing about him.
“Please, please don’t do this to me,” he begs. It was painful to hear his voice like that, even more painful to see those dark brown eyes begging me. He pulls me into his embrace and tightly wraps his arms around me. “Don’t leave me. You can’t leave me.”
And it has never felt so right. I can’t even remember how it felt when Jaebum hugged me anymore. I was losing touch of Jaebum. My memories of him were fading away. The strings of memories had now become a thin line. A thin line I was begging to cross.
Ok Taecyeon cups his hands around my face, and he kisses me. I taste minty freshness in my mouth again, with a little mixture of the rain. We’re kissing-in the rain.
I felt my heart pumping as the door to Taecyeon’s house slams open. I wasn’t even sure how we made it back in. He carries me and kicks the door shut behind him. I wrap my arms and legs around him and kiss him back, his arms wrap around my legs tightly. Jaebum’s face was beginning to become a blur in my mind.
I shouldn’t do this.
Taecyeon breaks apart from me-to take off his wet shirt. My hand runs through him-I wanted to feel him, to touch everything.
Oh lord, I can’t do this.
He kisses me again. I feel the warmth from his body pressing against me, enticing me. Selfishly, I pull him closer to me. And I kiss him, like I’ve never kissed before. I was losing my mind.
I am going to do this.
There was no turning back now.
I’m doing this.
Sunday, March 18, 2012, 9:08 PM
new.trailers.
but my productivity level is...so...low. anyways, trailers, trailers, trailers. I'm so sad, one of my favorite trailers from my old YT account was blocked. now I realized I should save all my work somewhere else. :(
Featuring Myungsoo and Krystal. I'm kind of MEH...cause of the pairing, but it's for my beautiful NORA who has waited eternity for this. :D
NAM WOOHYUN. He's trying to steal Sunggyu and Hoya's spot. No, can do, my love.
completely addicted to John Park's Falling, and BB's BAD BOY.
P.S. my perfect men are back.
mmm. i can't even tell you how yummy they all look. :D
Friday, February 24, 2012, 1:36 AM
blues.bigbang.
Someone told me my writing was horrid to look at, that she didn;t like the way I write. It was too draggy for her. Which was totally okay with me, because honestly, if she didn't like the way I write, then there was no way she was going to change her mind-regardless of my story. I got to say, that hurts.
So much to the point where I'm contemplating about quitting. T^T
version.
Remembering Yesterday, v.1
annyeong.
I just messed up my page. TT.TT
I know the black and white is an eyesore, but bear with me.
I'm going to change it soon. >.<
I hate you, dreamweaver.
where.to.go
home.
affies.
make.me.a.trailer.woman.
pick.me.up.
let.me.scribble.
boy.with.the.space.ship
already.gone
love&coffee
already.gone.ii
chasing.time
chasing.cinderella
a.step.from.the.north.wind
the.scarlet.letter
sing.to.me